How to Write a Cell Romance

The way to the perfect man's heart

"You're writing a Cell love story?! That's disgusting! You're a sick pervert!"

If you're a Cell fan, and you've heard this said in your face, then I can sympathize. We Cell fanatics are actually few, and just coming into existence (Did you know Imperfect Cell is winning the popular DBZ villain's contest over Freeza?), and we're barely acknowledged at all. And the ones who are hardly acknowledged are the ones out there who love him.

It's true. There are girls out there (like me) who want to marry the guy and possibly have his children. We all have our different reasons (he's cute, he's funny, he's really smart, he's really powerful, he's got big muscles, etc.), but we're out there, living our lives. Some of us are compelled to write our secret crushes or fantasies in rare species of fanfiction: Cell Romances.

We all have our different reasons for writing such fics: we are in love with him, it's a different and fun challenge, oh well at least it's not a v/b fic, etc. I've read a few of them, and I decided to write this to show you, the reader, popular cliches and tips for writing an enjoyable and romantic Cell love story.

Oh, and if anyone told you you're a sick pervert for writing Cell love stories, tell them this:

"It could be worse. I could be writing a Garlic Jr. love story!"

You write about only what you know, so you should know Cell pretty well before you even think of writing about him. A lot of fics I read have him very OOC (Out Of Character), and that really bugged me. I read a story and I think, "No, no, no! Cell would never do that!" So, step #1 is to keep the guy in character so that even the die-hard fanatics won't complain. Here's a couple ways to achieve that:

1. At least know what each of his forms look like. That's a good start. I'm not exactly saying know every inch of his body, but it's good to visualize what exactly you want him to do. You're more likely to see Cell rolling his eyes at N*SYNC songs rather than dancing and singing to them. (Sorry about that, but I'm desperate for examples!)
2. Listen carefully to his voice, then try to listen to him speaking the words you give him. I don't use this technique too often, but it helps to keep the guy in character. For example, you're more likely to hear Cell voice order someone "Be quiet" or "Silence." He would probably not say "Shut up" and you'll never hear him say "Shut the #@&$ up, bitch!"
3. Of course, you have to know what a person is like before you can call them a friend…or boy/girlfriend, lover, or someone we intent to be personal with. So, what is Cell like? His three forms almost have their own personalities, but he's overall the same guy. I took some notes, so I'll let you peek at them:

• Very cautious around new people or places
• Will only fight one on one battles, any more than that and he will run away
• Once he finds what he wants (i.e. Androids 17 and 18), nothing will stand in his way to getting what he wants
• Has the element of surprise on his side

• Very overconfident and thickheaded
• Stubborn and persistent
• Slow and bulky, he can't move as quickly as he says he can
• Angers or excites easily, very edgy
• Can't pay attention to everything around him like his first form could

• Very confident, fears no one, a bit more outgoing than his last two forms
• Fast, flexible, and agile
• His fighting skills are considerably better, faster and harder hits
• Playful, full of energy, bores easily
• Patient, can wait for long periods of time
• Not concerned about his looks or physical appearance
• Not discouraged by first blood, tough situations, or power levels higher than his own

• Polite when speaking, doesn't swear often
• Fights only one on one battles, isn't used to fighting more than one person
• Excellent hearing, can hear a pin drop from a mile away
• Cocky but not too cocky, doesn't fear new enemies or challenges
• Prefers to size up opponents if he doesn't know them very well
• Gets bored and/or annoyed easily
• Very witty and charming, cracks puns or jokes every now and then, not afraid to review an opponents performance (or a fanfic on FF.N, or so I've been told)
• His way or the highway! He gets what he wants, especially if he wants it now.
• Panics or screams when things aren't going his way, takes drastic measures if the situation is beyond his control
• Very shy and mousy when it comes to romantic stuff, he can't quite get the concept of human love

I might update that in the future, but that's all I have so far. Hope it helps.

Typically, a romantic story has a guy and a girl in love. There are stories out there where the couple are the same gender, but we won't get into that! Anyway, in a typical Cell romance, Cell and a girl become a couple and whatever all happens in the story. Now that we know all about Cell, what about the girl? What is she like? Well, that's for the writer to decide. Here's some cliché's I see in some of Cell's girls in other romances:

• Very shy and quiet, not exactly a people person
• Spooks easily, gets scared of Cell at first
• Lives alone in a house or apartment
• Very trendy, or tries to fit in with the in-crowd
• Most likely to fall for his handsome face and charm rather than who he is

However, there's always the special case where the girl who makes the pass on Cell is the type of woman everyone calls a "bitch." Here are her stats:

• Doesn't exactly think before she speaks, a smartass, if you will
• Has a strong dislike for Cell, but later comes to love him
• Very outgoing and adventurous, not afraid to try or do anything new
• Isn't afraid of Cell or his abilities, a bit sisterly to him on some occasions
• Not a beauty queen, but nice to look at

Cell is not exactly a ladies man. He'd rather listen to girls scream at his powers than swoon at his good looks or charm. However, if he's driven far enough, he will try to please his ladylove however he can, as long as it doesn't kill his reputation. He knows that love is a very powerful emotion, so he's a little reluctant to touch the subject. Getting him to fall in love with the girl, or for the girl to fall in love with Cell, takes time so Cell romances tend to be very long. I mean very long. Genro's fanfics took two series of six chapters each for Cell and his love, Jade, to get married. (The series is called Cell Forever and Cell's Courtship, and there's two more series after that, I think. Genro, help!)

So, what is Cell like around women with a crush on him, or if he has a crush on a woman? Here are some very common traits:

• Very shy and squeamish, likely to blush
• Charming and extremely polite, doesn't use modern slang like he does in the show
• Goes out of his way to make her happy, then questions why he did that
• Would never openly admit he likes her until she does something outrageous for him or vice versa (i.e. save his life)

That's not quite keeping him in character. In the fanfic Flash by Biowolf (the one who started the Cell romance! A special shout out to Bio!), Cell pays the girl, Jessie, a visit and admits that he's in love with her. Sorry, but that's not the kind of guy he is. He's very stubborn about the love concept, mostly because it's hard for him to understand what love exactly is. Therefore it's up to the girl (or the girl's friends or even the other Z fighters if the writer wishes!) to teach him. This is usually done with a very loving, tight hug or a small kiss on the cheek (no, the Z fighters are not going to hug and kiss Cell, you pervert! We're writing about boy/girl romance, not yaoi!).

Love starts with an obsession! One can't stop thinking about the other, so one goes out with the other just to be near them (i.e. drink at a bar, shopping, walking around town, etc). Then the obsession moves from thinking to wanting to be with the other, so there's actual dates (i.e. dinner out, dancing at a club, night on the town, etc). Then, very gradually, the obsession becomes love, and the whole thing goes from there. For Cell romances, that happens exactly, but mind you this is a love story, and it needs to get more interesting than that!

In the DBZ world, there's lots of scary and dangerous stuff. The cliché of all Cell romances, or any fanfic for that matter, is that Cell ends up saving the girl's life. He plays the knight in shining armor to rescue the damsel in distress from the man-eating dragon. Typical allegory, I know, but it fits. Now, that "man-eating dragon" could be anything from a supernatural force of evil to a punk on the street that wants a little fun with the girl. So, possessed by his obsession, Cell rescues the girl, and so starts the ultimate cliché: when the danger's over, they fall in love and kiss.

Hmmm…this shouldn't happen right away, but maybe after a while, when there's enough dangers for Cell to save the girl from, or the girl could save Cell (even better!). The typical anime cliché is that one or the other (I'm thinking Cell, in this case) would as his/her rescuer, "Why did you do that for me?" And the answer the rescuer gives (probably the girl) would be something along the lines of, "Because I would rather sacrifice myself than watch a friend/lover die." This can be used to make a good Cell romance. If the girl really sees something in Cell that makes her fall in love with him, she'd do anything for him, even risk her own life. It would be a good time to admit they both love each other after she saves him, or after he saves her.

Of course, this is the writer's decision, and not mine.

EEEEK! Now this is stuff that I have no experience with! So, I'll do my best.

Unless he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really feels so strongly about the girl, Cell absolutely will not marry her! She is more likely to ask him than he is to ask her, but he will pop the question if he feels that he must. Like I said, this love stuff is new to him, and ceremonial tradition is something he has a hard time coping with.

As for the honeymoon…uh…well…you know what happens on a honeymoon, right? A lot of people write lemons for this, so I never read them. I'm not into lemons, so I can't really talk about them. Sorry!

Cell with a family?! That concept is even harder for me to grasp, and I can't really talk about. The stories about Cell's children with the girl he loves are usually sequels to the Cell romance, and that's all I can really say about them. I've never had the time or the motivation to read these fics, but the ones I can refer you to for the moment is Genro's Next Generation, and ShadowCell's The Child of Cell. I'll read those in the near future, so watch for updates with cliché's and tips.

Can you keep a secret? Well, you see, I suck at romances! Even though I'm taking a stab at it as you read this (my romance fic is called Singing Mountain), I'm just not a romance writer. Never fallen in love except for cartoon characters, so I don't have a very good perspective of love and romantic commitment. I do watch a lot of movies and read a lot of books, however. It's very little help and reference, but it's all I got.

My point is, who am I to tell someone how to write a story? It's your story, do what you want with it. I wrote this because 1, I wanted to point out important cliché's and tips to help make a Cell romance enjoyable and fun for all; 2, I wanted to make the fanfiction world more aware of us Cell fanatics; 3, I was really bored and needed to entertain myself somehow; and 4, I'm trying to get rid of my writer's block for Singing Mountain.

Remember: THERE ARE NO RULES TO WRITING! With that in mind, I bid you good luck with your Cell Romance!

Get comfy, this is a long story.

Thanksgiving of 1999, I was at a cousin's house celebrating with my dad's side of the family. My sister and I were bored, so we fooled around on the TV looking for something to watch, and what should I find on the International Channel but (whoo-hoo!) Japanese Dragonball Z! It was an episode of the Cell Saga…I was pretty sure of that. I saw Piccolo and a strange, big, green creature conversing. I looked at the creature's skin and I thought to myself hmmm…the skin looks kinda like Cell, but that's not what Cell looks like. He looks more human than that…bug! So I continued to watch as Piccolo regenerated his arm, Trunks and Krillin showed up, the Cell-like creature escaped, and Goku smiled in his sleep. A few days later, I downloaded an emulator and the game Super Butoden 1, which featured that strange Cell-like creature. I learned that it was Cell, just in a different form from his more human state that I was more used to seeing in pictures on the Internet. All I knew about Cell at the time was he was the creation of Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Freeza's DNA, and that he was killed by Gohan, and that the Cell Saga came after the Android Saga. So, I didn't really think much of him until…

September of 2000, the fourth season of Dragonball Z aired on Cartoon Network. Being a huge DBZ fanatic (and I was finally ungrounded from the TV), I was more than excited to finally have the chance to see the androids, the Cell Game, and (at the time) Trunks. I had no idea how the story line went exactly, so every episode gave me a new surprise every day. I was loving every minute of it, having a great time, discussing new favorite characters with friends, dissing the voice FUNimation gave #17 (Boo! Hiss! Bad voice!), and drooling over my current DBZ crush, Piccolo!

October of 2000, CN aired the episode where Bulma got a phone call about a busted time machine. I thought for a minute about that, and I thought "hmmm, well, I know Cell came in Trunk's time machine…but that can't be it, it's too early in the Android Saga for Cell to appear." Then came the episode "Seized with Fear," where evidence of a strange creature began appearing. Then, when Gohan found the shed skin of the creature, I took a good look at the creature's face, and recognized it as one of Cell's forms! I was so shocked and taken by surprise that I screamed into the air: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HE'S NOT SUPPOST TO BE HERE YET! HE'S NOT SUPPOST TO BE HERE!" So I continued to watch and wonder what was going to happen.

My reaction to seeing Imperfect Cell in a full body shot: "Whoa! Cool!" Yes, I thought he was very cool looking. But I was still locked in my full-powered crush on Piccolo, and I was extremely high on sugar, so I still thought nothing much about the ugly green monster who was gonna get blown to bits by Gohan in fifty more episodes. Then, in "His Name Is Cell" (Well duh! Who came up with that title?!), as Cell sucked away at Piccolo's arm, I started to get very scared and started babbling nonsense just to keep myself calm, and then suddenly, a scene looked very familiar to me as the episode started to end It was the scene I saw years earlier as Cell and Piccolo talked and then Piccolo regenerated his arm. I started to calm down, and enjoy the story a bit more, knowing that the current love of my life would live.

Now the episode "Piccolo's Folly" was the kicker. When Cell began attacking the football team after stopping their bus, I whimpered to myself over and over "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…". Hey, I had drunk three cans of Coke, so I was very high on sugar and was practically bouncing off the walls during the whole scene. Then, one word made me do something that I had never done before watching TV: scream in fear! You wanna know what that word was? It was said by Cell, and it was said so early and spookily and it was just perfect! He said:

"Nnnnnnext!"

That's when I finally started feeling something about Cell: fear! I was scared to death of him! There were times I would feel like turning off the TV because I was too scared to watch anymore (the episode "Up To Piccolo" kept me from sleeping! Yes, I was very high on Coke that day too). He started appearing in my nightmares(that's why I couldn't sleep!). I started taking notes on him as I watched more episodes so that I wouldn't be so afraid of him (if I know how something scares me, then I'm not scared of it anymore, right?). I officially had an obsession with the big, green monster, although I still had a crush on Piccolo.

Here's a funny little story. Have you ever called an anime character as your own? Hey, the girls know what I'm talking about! "I call Tamahome! I call Marron! I call Tuxedo Mask! I call Trunks! I call Vegeta!" It's kinda like slapping a dog collar and ID tag on your favorite guy or gal. I always said "I call Piccolo!" and no one dared to challenge me on that. But one day, during the Imperfect Cell saga, I was just joking around with my friends about the calling thing as we took several anime guys. "I call Nakago! I call Kusanagi! I call Murakumo! I call Sephiroth! I call Cloud!" all that cool stuff. So, I pulled up a joke and said nice and loud: "I call Cell." Everyone screamed, and started calling me a weirdo. I just laughed and said. "Hey, I'm kidding. Calm down. Me and that freakazoid? No way. Never gonna happen."

As the episodes rolled on, and the androids were killed off one by one (now I feel so sorry for them, and I hate Cell's second form! Yuck! Bleh! He looks like a frikkin fish!), it was on November 1, 2000 when I felt something other than fear as I looked at that all too familiar face I had seen so many times on the internet:

I felt love at first sight.

He was so damn cute!

My obsession was taken to a new level. I no longer feared him, instead I loved him to pieces. And yes, I dumped Piccolo (too many girls are fighting me over him anyway, but I still like him) for Cell. I loved the voice he was given, but surprisingly enough I missed his Imperfect form a lot. So, I started racking my brains about what else I liked about Cell. I had to, the question was popping up a lot: "What do you like about Cell?! He's a mass murderer who chases around women just to hear them scream! What is there to like about him?"

I can answer that.

I didn't exactly fall for his looks, I fell for his cunning mind. I always based my crushes on personality rather than looks, because beauty is only skin deep and true beauty is found within. I found Cell to be very witty, imaginative, cunning, and very good at strategy. I concluded that Cell was an expert strategist and a master of psychological warfare. He could drive anyone nuts (or at least really tick them off) when he used his opponents own attacks against them…just like me.

You know you really like a guy when you find things in common with them.

Well, that was my story, and my crush is still standing…at least until I find someone better. Yeah, I'm the "love em and leave em" phase type. I mean, look what happened to me and Piccolo. I slapped him aside when I fell in love with Cell. No wonder why I suck at romances. :p

My fanfic, Singing Mountain, is somewhat based on the story I just told you. I decided to write down my own feelings for Cell using me as the girl and putting the story in a Princess Mononoke type setting because I was having a PM craze at the time, too. Singing Mountain isn't finished yet, but you may check it out if you wish.

So, is that The End? Not yet, let's just wait and see what happens…

Warmth of an Icy Heart, by ShadowCell

Cell has been given a test for another chance at life: to fall in love. He finds the girl of his dreams but can he pass his test? This one is cute and romantic, and ShadowCell likes to poke a lot of fun at poor Cell. A good example of a typical Cell romance.

The Child of Cell, by ShadowCell

The sequel to Warmth of an Icy Heart. It's a DBZ/Tenchi cross over where Cell and his family move to the Masaki shrine. It doesn't appear to be finished yet, but it is very cute so far. Tenchi fans will like this one.

Cell Forever, by Genro

An alternate timeline from the show and Trunk's timeline. What if Cell was one of the good guys? This is an interesting and sweet fic. The interesting part is seeing Cell as a very shy guy and a bit of a coward when it comes to fighting. It's enjoyable, especially when Cell meets Jade in person for the first time. That's my favorite scene. ^^

Cell's Courtship, by Genro

Sequel to Cell Forever. Very cute and sweet. This is what I mean by Cell going out of his way for a girl he likes. Cell and Jade get romantic in this one, and everything they try to do together goes wrong in every way possible. Well, the road to true love never did run smooth. A must for the romantic comedy lover!

Next Generation, by Genro

(I haven't read it yet!)

Flash, by Biowolf

The first of the Cell romances. Very sweet and funny, but Cell is a bit OOC in this one. This fic is about a girl who met Cell in his bug state, and when Cell becomes perfect, he goes to meet her and tell her something very important. Very romantic and moving, go read it now!

Cell's Interest, by Raine Ishida

Not exactly a romance. It's a DBZ/Chrono Cross fic where Cell meets Kid, and she starts back talking him. He gets a sorta crush on her, but she doesn't seem to like him at all. Chrono Cross fans will dig it. :p

Singing Mountain, by me, Masquerade

A DBZ/Princess Mononoke crossover. When Cell is accidentally brought back to life, he is taken to a strange land and to an equally strange girl. I can't really review this one cause I wrote it. You decide how it is.

Well, that's all! Thanks for reading!

~Masquerade