Pan, doing her best to commit the company-greeting poem to memory on her way there, began to recite it flawlessly.
“I’m come to you as a Majin Whore,
my duty is to save your day from being a sexless bore,
my boobs are all natural, they ain’t plastic,
but I assure you, they’re all plenty fantastic.
And if you still wanted the bigger rack, in spite of the fakeness of each tit,
Then you should’ve made a bigger down payment, you dumbshit!!!”
“MOM!? What the hell are you doing back here?!” The voice demanded.
“Ummm, you ordered a Majin whore, sir?” Pan responded.
“Oh, thank Kami!!! I thought that you’d never get here!!!” There was a buzz and the mansion door promptly opened. Pan stepped in and was amazed by what she saw inside: Elegant furniture, marble walls, distinguished art covering the walls, and all the other stereotypical rich house assortments. As she stared in amazement, her client began to descend the main staircase. He too, bore the marks of the elegant rich life: Silk laced bathrobe with gold initials, shiny leather slippers, top hat, and a cigar puffing from the mouth. In fact, there was only one aspect about this individual that betrayed the rest of his social elite guise…
“Uhhh…hello Mr. Cell.” Said a rather surprised Pan.
******
The exhausted trio of Goten, Dende and Trunks rested on Dende’s grand master bed, using the still stoned Mr. Popo’s wonder ass as a pillow. They took turns with the bong they normally used after these threesomes.
“Man…” Dende whispered. “I can’t believe that I’ve been sitting next to such a nice piece of ass without even knowing it. You’d think something like that would exert some kind of ki.”
“Ass ki?” Goten rambled. “Man, that’s like some kind of…zzzzzzzzz” Goten dozed off. Trunks and Dende both smacked him in the face.
“Stop that!!! You’re the only one who knows how to reload this thing!” Trunks commanded as he waved the bong around in Goten’s face. “Besides, you were on to something with that ass ki theory.” Goten took another puff of the bong being waved in his face.
“Well, think about it. Our naughty bits, not just the asses but also the dicks, the boobs and the vaginas all have some kind of manipulative power over people when they come into contact with them. I mean, it must be some kind ki technique. Suppose that, even without our knowing, our penises are at this very moment emitting manipulative ki!!”
With this in mind, Dende, Goten and Trunks all focused on their dicks and concentrated very hard.
******
“So…” Pan said as she sipped her imported hell vodka. “How is it that a person meant to suffer all of the ultimate pains in hell ends up as a rich bastard like you?”
“Oh, that was easy.” Cell said. “After Gohan vaporized me, I arrived in hell and discovered that I was the only person here who was stronger than Freezer, who was rich of his ass. I simply beat the shit out of him and took all of his money.”
“What good is being rich in hell?” Pan inquired.
“It’s not really too exciting, but I’m better off with it. I pretty well spend it on this house, liquor, and whores. Obese-Buu gives me a discount since I’m a regular customer.” Cell replied. Then there was a moment of awkward silence.
“So!” Cell began. “Your father killed me.”
There was a moment of even more awkward silence.
The next moment, both Cell and Pan had thrown their vodkas over their shoulder and were making out like crazy. Cell, through experience, knew the exact words that would make any woman incredibly horny. It didn’t take long for Pan’s Wal-Mart whore ensemble to come off her, and Cell’s bathrobe, which was made of a much cheaper silk than you’d expect, being hell silk and all, combusted as Cell’s body heat rose. Once they were both naked, Cell picked Pan up in his arms, darted upstairs to the master bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. Pan regained her composure and looked at Cell as he stood there.
“Mr., Cell, I have a question.” She said.
“Make it quick, once I’m turned on, I’m not very patient with periods of non-sexual activity.” Cell said.
“If you’re a clone of Goku and Vegeta, then why don’t you have a…”
“I DO HAVE ONE!!!!! FUCK, WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME THAT?!?!?!?!” Cell screamed.
“Because I can’t see it.” Pan answered. “Where is it?”
Cell smirked and Pan saw some movement behind his back. Suddenly, a green tail with a pointed end whipped out from behind him and pointed menacingly at Pan’s vagina.
“Fuck me.” Pan said in amazement.
“That’s what I’m paying you for.” Chuckled Cell as he sprung into bed with her. Pan was a bit put off by the unusual anatomy of her client.
“But hell, I’ve done worse.” She thought. “There was that freak in college called the Bionic Parasol Y or something. Fuck, I couldn’t even see if it was human!!!”
Pan had just barely gotten a natural feel for Cell when he tied her up upside-down with his tail, and began to lick her ass. Freaky as it was, Pan really liked it.
******
While still in a romantic interlude with Videl and three split-form Piccolos, Gohan suddenly stopped.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Videl asked.
“It’s Pan.” Gohan said as the industrial cream foamed from of his mouth. “I sent her out hours ago and she still hasn’t come screaming home like she usually does.” Videl and the three Piccolos stopped too.
“Honey, Pan lived at College for…ahhhh…”
“Two days.”
“Two whole days!!” Videl said reassuringly. “If she can last that long, then what’s wrong with a few hours?”
“The fact that in those two days she slept with roughly 130 different people?” Gohan said with an expression of concern. “Furthermore, I can’t sense her ki!”
“Gohan…” said Piccolo #2. “…Pan can handle herself out there. I mean, who could possibly want to cause harm to such a sweet, young, so incredibly sexy…”
Piccolo #2 didn’t get a chance to mouth a new word since his last few words caused Gohan to instantly become a Super Saiya-jin and to punch Piccolo #2’s head off in an explosion of blood, brains and whipped cream.
“I trust not all split form Piccolos think alike?” Gohan asked menacingly. The two remaining Piccolos nodded with the most honest smiles that they could fake. “Good. Now, I’m going out to go look for Pan.”
“But Gohan!” Videl pleaded. “Whatever will we do without you?! It’s just not the same!!” Gohan quickly rummaged through the closet, took out his look-alike blow up doll and tossed it on the bed.
“Honestly, you’d think I could even go to the bathroom without having to use that thing.” He grumbled as he put on a trench coat.
******
Things were now getting really heated between Cell and Pan. Her vagina was being impaled by Cell’s tail (which by the way was a pretty damn good size) and Cell himself was behind her and was somehow ass fucking her with some other piece of anatomy that Pan preferred to not even imagine. Actually, she could pretty well be penetrated by any part of Cell’s body, seeing as his whole body was covered in a hard crustacean-like shell. He’d even nailed her using those horn-like things on his head. Finally, after about three straight hours of being fucked through every orifice of her body by every pointed edge on Cell’s body, they both took a break on the bed.
“Do you even orgasm?” She breathlessly asked. “You’ve done me with just about every piece on your body, and not once did you cum.”
Cell didn’t speak. Instead, he broke down in tears, bawling uncontrollably.
“Wh-what’s wrong??!” She asked as she tried to comfort him.
“I…I CAN’T EXPERIENCE AN ORGASM!!!!!” He painfully cried out. “FOR YEARS, I HEAR ABOUT THE GLORY OF WHAT IT IS TO EXPERIENCE AN ORGASM, AND I TRY FOR YEARS WITH HUNDREDS OF DIFFERENT WHORES TO GET TO EXPERIENCE ONE, BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, I JUST CAN’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!”
“So that’s why you kept trying to use different parts of your body on me? To see which one orgasms?” Pan asked. Cell just sniveled and nodded. “Well don’t worry! All that needs to be done is to use the Dragon Balls to find out which part of you orgasms, and if there isn’t one, I’ll just wish for one!!!” Pan said reassuringly.
“You…you’d do that for me?” Cell asked as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
“Sure!! You’re my first customer in a promising new career! I sort of feel the need to do something special for you.” She said.
“Oh, thank you, thank you!!!!!” Cell cried out as he hugged her. “I promise that once I am able to properly orgasm, you’ll be the first to give it to…!!!”
Those were Cell’s last words that day, because the next instant he was atomized in a blast made by Pan’s recently arrived and unbelievably pissed father.
“For the love of Kami!!! I can’t leave you alone for five seconds without you screwing around with some freak!!!!!” He shouted.
“No, Daddy, this is my new job!! I got a job, just like you said! I’m a whore!!! I’m okay with being cut off now!” She said happily.
“The hell you are!!” He shouted. “I had trace you from Obese-Buu’s files after I blew up the rest of the building. You’re a whore and you’re in hell!! Pan, I’m sorry, but it’s just not safe to leave you unsupervised. I’m taking you back home.” Pan just stood there for a moment.
“Okay!!”
******
Mr. Popo woke up in pain and confusion. His ass hurt, his head was groggy, his clothes were torn, his skin was sticky, and he had scratch and bite marks all over his body.
“You fell on a cactus, ass first.” Was the reason given to him by Goten, Trunks and Dende. “We tried to soothe the pain with some painkillers.”
“Yes, but I also found these jammed up my behind.” Said Mr. Popo as he produced two diamond rings.
“Oh, yeah!!! I almost forgot!!!” Trunks exclaimed as he snatched the rings from Popo’s hand, and gave them a quick wipe to get the shit stains off them. Trunks walked up to Goten and Dende, and got down on one knee.
“Goten, Dende, these last couple of months that I’ve had with you two have been better than any one relationship I’ve ever had with one person. I suppose there’s a mathematical reason for that. I would like the happiness that we’ve experienced so far to continue on for the rest of our lives.” Trunks held a ring in each hand and held each one up to his lovers.
Goten and Dende looked at them in confusion.
“So?” They both asked simultaneously.
“SO MARRY ME, YOU DUMB FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!” Trunks shouted out.
Goten and Dende both placed their hands on their cheeks and gasped in surprise.
“YES!!!!!!!” They both screamed.
“Um, why were those rings up my ass?” Mr. Popo interrupted. The trio ignored him and danced around in joy.
“We should celebrate!!” Dende suggested. The three began to think for a moment, and then looked evilly at Mr. Popo.
“Y’know,” Goten said smoothly to Mr. Popo. “Those rings probably hurt a lot. Why don’t you have some more painkillers?”
The evil chuckles made Mr. Popo more confused than ever.
So what’dya think???? Lemmie know.
Praise, advice, criticism, flames…BRING ‘EM ON, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!